The End

I recently published my first edited book,  Labor of Love: A Literary Mama Staff Anthology ,  with  Small Harbor Publishing . It's an anthology of writing from  Literary Mama  staff over the past 20 years. It's a beautiful collection and I am proud of the writers and proud to share the book.  It seems a fitting moment, as I pondered sharing about the book here on the blog, to reflect on my life as a blogger, and acknowledge that it is time to officially end this blog.   I started blogging in about 2007, when my baby was learning to toddle, when I was learning how to be a mother and stepmother, when I was just starting to see my way as a writer. I needed it back then. I craved it. I had a variety of blog iterations--family, art, creativity, writing things I delved into. There's a freedom in blogging, a casualness, an easy familiarity that's lacking (for me anyway) in other kinds of writing. I loved blogging and the words came pouring out.  Over the years since then, some

Nature Writing Entry #5

2-22-15 at 3pm
At the Stewart Park Promontory and Cayuga Lake ice field


  • Temperature: 30 degrees
  • Wind: 2-8 MPH
  • Clouds: Yes, overcast, gray-white everywhere

Animals Seen:
  • Canada geese on land and others flying against the wind
  • A hawk harassing a gull over the ice

Humans seen:
  • Lots of people at east end of the park walking out on the ice


It’s been frigidly cold in Ithaca for weeks. Cold that prevents you from going out to play in the snow. Cold that freezes your fingers in minutes. Cold that prompted the Ithaca tourism board to recommend that potential tourists head to Key West, instead of Ithaca. (This was a strategic advertising campaign which got the tourism board website hundreds of thousands of hits in one day. The bureau estimates that 10 to 15 million people heard about the campaign over the ensuing days, and thus, now know where Ithaca, NY is on the map.)

In the fourteen years I have lived in Ithaca, Cayuga Lake—40 miles long, 3.5 miles at its widest point, and 435 feet deep—has never frozen over. There are a few documented cases from the past 160 years when the lake did freeze completely: 1856, 1885, 1912, 1918, 1934, 1948, 1962, and 1979.
This year, the ice has pushed the farthest from shore that we've seen, and my husband, Rob, wanted to take the kids as far out as they could go. So we all headed to Stewart Park on the warmest day we've had in weeks (30 degrees).

I wandered over to the Promontory, while they set out into the ether.

I was distracted from the start. Wondering where they were headed, how far they could really go, and if walking out onto the ice was really the best idea in the world? I followed the post-hole steps of one other brave path walker around the loop until the footsteps veered off onto ice-locked Fall Creek. I followed. I stumbled around the edges of the Promontory looking for something to inspire my visit. Though a few windswept snow drifts captured my attention, there wasn't much of note, except the white.

Sitting on the bench looking north over the lake, the white filled everything, the wind was low, the air crisp, but not shocking. Then rose their voices; carrying across the ice, pulling me away from my seclusion at the Promontory and back into my world, the world of family. I saw them, three dark forms—one large, one medium, one small—picking their way across the vast field, getting farther and farther away from me. 

Watching them shrink into the distance, I realized that the most profound thing I would find at the Promontory was this ice field, and the three people I love most who were on it. 

I left the bench, struggled through knee high snow drifts, grabbed branches for balance and clambered down the bank and onto the thick ice sheet. It was a desert. There was no context for distance, space, time. Take away the gray hillsides and it was how I imagine Antarctica to be. I trudged, seeming to make no progress toward or away from anything.

In some places the wind had whipped the ice bare and my boots slipped easily. In other places the snow had crusted over the top into a smooth, hard face, like oak floorboards. About two tenths of a mile out, the surface texture changed to a rough, jagged, jumble of chunks. Layer after layer of ice slabs jutting up from the thickness below. I stopped there. My family was about another tenth of a mile out, but they were turning back.

Above me I heard a piercing cry. The dark form of a hawk swooped up and down on the drafts, seemingly harassing a gray gull. The gull evaded the hawk, but they kept up their dance for a few minutes. Finally, one bird went one way, the second went the other. It was interesting, but the show, like the ice, held no context.

My family caught up with me, I caught up with them. My son eagerly showed me the triangular ice chunk shaped like a shark fin he planned to keep as a souvenir. My stepdaughter moved slowly, wisps of blond hair sticking out beneath her hat, still clicking pictures on her camera. My husband grinned beneath his enormous, red, poofy coat, clearly pleased at the success of the ice-sheet excursion. We all marveled at how far we had come.

I’m not sure what experience I would have had, had I been at the Promontory or out on the ice alone. Perhaps something deeply philosophical would have arisen. But nature isn't always a solitary thing. Its wonder and magic can be amplified or altered by what other people see and share. I even contend that sometimes, it should be. The truth is, my life is not just about me. For good and bad, everything I do affects or is affected by these three people. 

We began the Antarctic trek back across the ice and I looked over at the indistinguishable peninsula that is my Promontory. I could sort of see the Boat House hidden in the trees, but it was vague. Along with the sky, the ice, the birds. The whiteness made everything vague. The one thing that wasn't vague in all that gray haze, was my family. They were colorful and solid and right in front of me. It is they who give my life context.


Comments

Today was blogging day for the old ladies! :-)

What a nice entry, Amanda. And I notice that we've both described our respective frozen lakes as deserts. I haven't thought of mine as such before but today it was a perfect description. I'm glad your family got to go with you! I've been wanting to take mine for a perspective change, and I notice that their presence became the focus of your focus. I suppose when our loved ones are out on the ice it's inevitable to worry, but it's also a totally different lens through which you viewed your place this time.

I love the photo of your son!
Unknown said…
I’m not sure what experience I would have had, had I been at the Promontory or out on the ice alone. Perhaps something deeply philosophical would have arisen. But nature isn't always a solitary thing. Its wonder and magic can be amplified or altered by what other people see and share. I even contend that sometimes, it should be. The truth is, my life is not just about me. For good and bad, everything I do affects or is affected by these three people.



I love this paragraph and the image of your family trekking across the ice in front of you. I also think it is interesting that you bring up the word vague. How the landscape is like a void, but these three people are bursting with color. It is such a wonderful metaphor for life and family. I ALSO think it is interesting that their faces are always obscured: the ice distorts your son's face, in the other photos your family's backs are turned. I think this creates a certain universal or fairy tale quality to this post. Readers can project onto the photographs. Who do these love one represent for them? Such a great post, Amanda! By far my favorite :)
You say that you were distracted from the start, but you managed to turn this distraction into a focus - like Laura said. I've experienced a very similar thing where my distraction and frustration turn out to be the universe telling me, "hey, you, focus on this thing over hear!" And I agree with Brittany about the distorted images. So artful and beautiful.
Lisa Didiano said…
I thoroughly enjoyed this piece. When I realized you were going to walk on the ice, I sat forward in my chair. Ice walking frightens me - and when I read this,

"Watching them shrink into the distance, I realized that the most profound thing I would find at the Promontory was this ice field, and the three people I love most who were on it."

I understood why you would go. For me it echoed over the entire piece. I could take those steps with you, through your writing, because I understood the compulsion and empathized. Lovely.

What a wonderful adventure your family had that day.
Erica Scaife said…
I really loved this piece! First of all, you're so good at sneaking in facts and information about the Promontory. We always learn something in each of your posts. I also love that you focus on your family in this post. It's very touching and sincere. In addition, I love the picture of the snowdrift and your son...so great!
Unknown said…
This is a powerful entry, perhaps specifically because it was not a solitary nature experience. It's interesting how, visually, emotionally, and descriptively, this portray a monochromatic landscape - all white and blurry. But the presence of others here, your connection to your family, evokes such brilliance.