A few chapters ago The Artist's Way broached the question about scarcity and luxury. I know what feels scarce, but luxury? I had no idea.
I avoided monetary issues for the moment, and thought about the thing I do not have enough -- time. My morning is full of early wakings and rushed drives across town. I battle the fatigue with coffee and fill my time with scattered blogging and writing, and researching and running errands. There are not enough hours in the morning until the time comes again when the school bus arrives and my focus must return to my little boy. Then I can alternate between filling his needs and working to keep the house in some semblance of order. Then it is dinner time, relax on the couch time, and return to bed time. The days were flying by along this path at an unprecedented rate. Enough time, while a nice goal, was not feasible.
When Cedar was a baby, I followed the golden new mommy rule and napped when baby napped. I was endlessly sleep deprived, but able to counteract that with regular naps. I was in full mommy mode, and not pursuing my own career goals. These days a nap is a rare and luxurious option. To take time out from pursuing my creative goals to sleep seems crazily out of the question.
One day not too long ago, I was so exhausted, I gave in and just did it anyway. I crawled into bed, justifying my laziness with thoughts that I would just rest and plan things in my head. Moments later I was fast asleep. In the middle of the day!
I awoke a brief twenty minutes later, calm and relaxed. Lazing in bed, gazing out the window, my work was still there waiting for me, the school bus would arrive soon, I had not accomplished a thing, and it was all ok. The luxury I experienced when waking from that nap in the middle of a school day was worth a fortune.
By doing the very thing that seemed so contrary to what I was after- stretching out, taking a break, sleeping- I found what luxury means to me. Now luxury is suddenly at my fingertips, and I know on the days when I nap, there will be plenty of time.