Early last week I was sick in bed, laid up for three days. By Valentine's Day I was on my feet again, but struggling to make it through each day. The weekend led to another great emotional challenge with my blended family situation. And by Monday, my son was down for the count with fever. We are on day three of the little fella relaxing on the couch and filling his days with TV programs and Netflix movies.
Through it all I have felt off balance. Quite literally. The sick bug that congested my sinuses and clogged up my nose, finally moved upward into my brain. Or so it feels. I feel well enough to do house and parenting and writing work again, except for feelings of dizziness and vertigo all day long. The only time that this off balance feeling goes away each day is when I relax. When I lay on the couch with my feverish kid and scroll through the TV listings, or when I get into bed myself and rest for an hour midday, or at night when I head off to sleep.
My regular life is full of busyness. I run around town driving kids places. I am trying to keep up with five blogs. I am working on creative writing and other creative endeavors. I strive to keep my home clean as my dog strives to fill it with her shedded hair. Everyone needs to be fed numerous times each day. I chase after my health as I force myself to work out at the gym 3 times a week. And relationships between family members don't just create themselves... they need attention and care. Lately, more so. I work to fill every second of my day with productive accomplishment in one area or another. And this winter my life has felt like it is spinning out of control as we all want more, greater, better options and things and experiences.
Is it any wonder I got sick? Not until I was physically incapable of dealing with any of it, was when I finally got to relax, stay in bed, and take a break from it all.
Don't get me wrong, it's all good stuff I am doing. It is just out of balance. I've been so focused on balancing family with work with writing, I completely forgot about adding into the mix some time for relaxation. So now my physical off balance feeling is keeping me in check, not allowing me to do too much.
I can't afford the time or money for a trip to Maui, but I can take an afternoon off and go shopping. I can sit in a coffee shop and watch the people go by, jotting notes into my journal. I can take a few hours for tea with my mom. I can relax. I must. When I do, I'm fairly sure I'll get my balance back.